Blink Kitty Love

LEMONADE MAIDS

Why yes, we are a bit rusty but here's a new Monster Tongue Twister.  And if anyone has any ninja rhymes, let us know. 

 

 

THIRD BASE

Or something like that.  Not that thrilled about the NFL post season (and our fantasy team tanked) so we're waiting for spring training. While we wait, here's another Monster Tongue Twister w/ bonus adorable baby Loch Ness monsters.  Hope you had a great holiday season. Don't forget to write 2012 on things.  We need practice at that. And welcome back.

 

 

 

MONSTER FUNNY

Time for a quiz!  (Not, not you, but let us know if you're interested.)  We are (be warned) on a quest for new ways to bring laughter into your life so read on.

We invited @TravisErwin*, a friendly fountain of Texas humor and the inspiration for our Sasquatch tongue twister, to answer some questions just to get YOU, yes, you good food, fun and music tips. (what did you think we were going to ask him about?)  Like his answers? You can pick up his book, The Feedstore Chronicles at the link below.

Here's what we want to know.  And yes, we are stopping by for backyard food and bocce ball anytime we happen to be in Erwin neighborhood (answers by Mr. Erwin in italics):

Top a burger or build a sandwich for us so we can decide if we want to stop by for a snack.

I am a near complete carnivore so for me burgers and sandwiches are all about the meat, and  nothing green, will ever taint my meat. Bacon, cheese, layers of other meats. That is the ONLY kind of toppers for me. I also do a lot of blends for the backyard bashes I throw. Grinding, say ham and beef together to create my own hamburger patties.

Favorite backyard recreational sport?  Any strategy tips? (We wiffle, Nerf or Frisbee).

 I spend tons of time in my backyard. Bocce ball and horseshoes are my favorite sports. Both feeds my competitive urges but both can be thrown with a single hand leaving the other to hold a beer. And that my friends only the best of recreational sports can be played without being forced to set down your beverage. Back in my feed store days we also pitched a lot of washers.

We grew up with the Jersey Devil next door in the Pine Barrens; are there any legendary local monsters in Texas?

Besides Rick Perry? Well, we have the chupacabre but that legend really started in Mexico. And once I made the mistake of mowing the front lawn while shirtless which prompted the National Enquirer to camp out on my lawn for weeks in search of photographic evidence of Sasquatch.

Feedstore Chronicles:  how funny is it (aka is it safe to drink snortable fluids while reading)? And who should we buy it for?

I hope it’s damned funny. I hope it is Exorcist-like in that fluids shoot with great force from those crazy enough to drink while reading.I know it still makes me laugh and I’ve read, edited and re read the stories dozens if not hundreds of times. The reviews have been great. Well, all except for the guy who was kind of ticked he’d given the book to his nearly 80 year old mother. Apparently it was a bit risque for her taste. So I’ll say it’s for anyone with a sense of humor and a tolerance for lewd comedies.

Tell us a tale:  from the book, from writing the book, from selling the book, from today, from...

 The Feedstore Chronicles is a humorous coming-of-age tales about my formative teenage years of working at a dusty Texas Feedstore for the world’s most morally bankrupt man. I dubbed the character I created based upon him Doyle. While writing the book I had more than a few people tell me Doyle was going to be pissed for the way I portrayed him, but despite the fact I hadn’t seen my former boss in years I felt confidant he would see the humor in the book and in some perverse way be proud to have his exploits told.

And so he was. Doyle, along with two of his three sons attended the release party for the book and while chatting with them I asked my former boss if he had told his father, who actually owned the feed store, about my book.

 “No,” Doyle said. “My dad is still old school and he won’t like some of the racier parts.”

It was at this point that Doyle’s sons, who had been young boys when I worked for their father, but are now in their late twenties, chimed in. “Besides, Doyle here doesn’t want Pee Paw to know where all his profits went.”

 In the book I reveal that Doyle often traded horse feed for sex. horse feed that his dad actually paid for. So I enjoyed the fact Doyle’s sons were quick to jab their dad. I found it humorous that they referred to him not by Dad, Pops, or even his real name but by Doyle.

Play us out with a music list of any sort:  

 I’m a pure Texas boy so my list is going to be created around that fact. Given that the feed store I worked at was called Pearl’s Feed & Seed I must start with …

 ZZ Top’s --- Pearl Necklace

 From there lets play a classic by my all time favorite songwriter …

 Townes Van Zandt --- To Live Is To Fly

 After that let’s have a double shot of Kris Kristofferson …

 Me and Bobby McGee as sung by another Texan, Janis Joplin and Kristofferson singing his own ,Sunday Morning Coming Down

 And let’s finish it off with my all-time favorite song …

 The Road Goes on Forever by Robert Earl Keen

Nice music set.  We are also Kris Kristofferson fans here, Tammy loving "Help Me Make It Through the Night" and TK (unexpectedly) a fan of Kristofferson's performance in the second Christmas in Connecticut, worth a viewing if only for the hilarity of Tony Curtis freezing in front of a camera for comic effect.

*Find us on Twitter already, we're fun.

 

 

AT IT AGAIN

Yep.  We bring you Monster Tongue Twister #2:  Ye Yetis.  Here goes, try it at least three times fast.

 

Yearn, ye Yetis of yellow, yearn in turn to learn the mellow cello, every fellow, ye of yellow.

 

Read at your own pace or watch from the couch, your choice.

 

 

 

 

Have a monster you'd like to see in a tongue twister?  @ us or name drop one in the comments.

MONSTER TONGUES

Ok, actually monster tongue twisters.  We like monsters, you know that.  And we like tongue twisters, which we've been finding out thanks to the tweeteriffic tips and twisters of @VOvoiceactor. And then there was our author of the recently published Feedstore Chronicles handy for discussing grilling and bacon buddy @traviserwin, who said this:  "There ought to be a woodchuck type tongue twister involving Sasquatches in Saskatchewan."  We, of course, just now realized we forgot the Saskatchewan part, but that can be amended.  So, anyway, we RTed the tongue twister request and @VOvoiceactor folks (who are also creating a fun and funny little series called Shelf Life) did us a favor and said come up with one yourself.  So thank you and here it is.   We'll add in Saskatchewan (or something close, feel free to shuffle it around and see if it works better before skateboards):

 

Monster Tongue Twister #1 (Because you really want a bunch of them)

Street-savvy (Saskatoon) Sasquatch squashes skittish skateboards.

Watch or read, your choice:

 

 

 

Good night!